You and your partner have made the amicable decision to get a divorce, but there is one thing that is still up in the air, and it is causing a lot of friction between you both: who will get custody of the children? When two parents invest their time and emotions into their children, it's hard for either of them to imagine what life would look like without their children in it on a daily basis. This sticky situation usually means that you have to bring in a lawyer who offers family law services for professional legal assistance. However, there are a few things you can do before things get to that point to come to an agreement on your own.
Look at who has the most suitable living arrangement for the children.
Divorce usually means at least one parent will leave the currently shared home, and in some cases, both parents have to find their own place to live. Whatever the situation may be, it is best for the children to stay primarily in a home that is stable. If you were the parent that left the house, and you're currently couch surfing until you get a place, it will not be for the best if the children stay with you. Whatever agreement you come to immediately after the divorce does not have to be set in stone; you can change up the arrangements once you get a suitable place for the kids.
Think about the logic of sharing custody.
Even though it is hard to consider being without your children for part of the week, shared custody is most often the best decision for the children. With shared custody, one parent usually gets the children on the weekends while the other has the children mostly through the week. However, shared custody can also be set up in different ways according to what you and your co-parent decide will work out for the best.
Consider what your children will prefer in the situation.
The hardest thing to do during a divorce with children is to set your own emotions aside and look at what your children will be most content with, This is something you must learn to do, as it will be a challenge to face in just about every co-parenting situation. If you know that your children will be happier with the other parent because you work a lot of long hours, for example, it is best to set your own feelings aside and try to make sure they are okay with the situation.