One of the hardest parts of going through a divorce when you have children is the fight over child custody if you and your soon-to-be-ex do not agree on who should have legal and physical custody of your children or how that custody should be shared. When you are fighting with your spouse over custody, it is up to the court system to determine who should have custody of your children.
#1 Be Willing to Work Together
When you go to court, show a willingness to work with your spouse. Do not disagree with everything that they say. Show the court that you are willing to work together.
For example, if your ex requests custody over a weekend in order to celebrate the children's grandparent's birthday together, don't fight it. That just looks petty. Be willing to make adjustments to custody for special requests that facility your children's relationships with both sides of their family or be willing to come up with a neutral location for changing custody that benefits and works for you both. Showing that you are willing to work on these issues will help your case for equal or full custody of your children.
#2 Make Sure You Are Spending Time with Your Children
Make sure that you are taking advantage of all the time that you have with your children. When you have custody of your children, make sure that you are present with them. Of course, it is okay to use childcare when needed and necessary, but make sure that you are spending as much time as you can with your kids.
When you have your kids with you, you need to make sure that you are not just doing fun things with your children. Make sure that you are also having your kids do their homework and their chores as well. This will show that you are not just there to have fun with your kids, but to support your children's development as well. The everyday boring things that you do together with your children show that you are committed to really being your child's parent, and not just their friend.
#3 Watch How You Talk About Your Ex
Watch how you talk about your ex. Do not vent negatively about your ex to your children. Keep positive about your child's other parent when around them. Do not vent on social media either; these posts could be used against you in court. If you need to vent, do it with a therapist or with a close friend in private. Perception matters, and publically and frequently putting down your ex-spouse can negatively impact your ability to have custody of your children.
Work closely with your child custody lawyer as you work to gain custody of your children. Do not talk negatively on any public forum about your spouse, and show a willingness to work with them in court. Make sure that you take advantage of all visitation opportunities and spend time doing real things with your children.
For more information, contact a lawyer like Karen Robins Carnegie PLC.